Violet Anne Harder

My sweet Violet.  I absolutely adore this picture and I remember clearly what it felt like to look down at her face for the first time and really take in that I had another little girl to love.  I feel so blessed that I get to be her mommy. Welcome to our crazy family baby girl!

The Lord has been so good to us and He answered all my prayers surrounding her birth.  In the days leading up to my delivery, I was really anxious about her position.  She didn't seem to be completely head down and she was still face up.  Anxiety about having a c-section or a difficult delivery started to weigh on me.  Thankfully, I was able to deliver her naturally without any complications.  My labor was actually pretty quick this time too.  I was admitted around 4:00 in the afternoon at 7 cm and 100% effaced.  Miss Violet was in my arms at 7:00 that evening.  I delivered her with the Midwives at Vanderbilt and I can't say enough about how wonderful they are.  You can check out THIS POST for more information on The Vanderbilt Midwives and preparation for natural birth if you are interested.  

The last few weeks have definitely been a blur for our family.  I felt great shortly after Violet's delivery and felt like I was bouncing back pretty quick.  Unfortunately, only a few days after being home, I ended up in the ER.  I was diagnosed with postpartum fluid shift which is something I was not familiar with.  Symptomatically, it presents like congestive heart failure.  I had a few episodes of waking out of a deep sleep in a panic attack with the sensation that I was suffocating or drowning due to fluid in my lungs.  I would have to stand or walk around to get my breath.  Each time I would try to lay down to go to sleep, it would happen again.  Thankfully, we live within a few miles of a hospital and they were able to complete a full work up on me in about an hour and send me back home.  Apparently, sometimes after pregnancy and delivery your body can hold on to excess fluid in your blood.  In my case, it was filling into the spaces of my lungs when I was lying down.  Fortunately, a few nights of attempted sleep in an upright position took care of that...

Just when I was about to get rested and feel on the mend, Abigail came down with a fever that lasted three days.  I tried so hard to keep her away from Violet and to stay as isolated as I could, but despite my best efforts, I got sick and ultimately Violet got sick.  But who really needs sleep anyway?

As Thanksgiving is upon us, I have definitely had time to reflect on what I am thankful for.  There are times when I can feel so defeated and down that I have to force myself to see the silver linings.  I have had a few of those days and this is what I am most thankful for.  


1- Family.  My goodness - my family and Mike's family have been life savers     while we have been sick and sleep deprived.  So thankful. 

2-  Getting Sick.  I am actually thankful that I got sick because it allowed me to pass antibodies on to Violet through breastfeeding.   

3-  Mike.  My husband is absolutely amazing and such a partner.  I couldn't have gotten through the last few weeks without him. 

4-  Friends.  We have incredible friends that have blessed us with meals and have even offered to come hold Violet so I could sleep during the day.  Blessed. 

5.  Perspective.  I have been nervous about taking care of two kids by myself.  But after the start I have had, when we are all healthy, things will seem like a breeze!  Silver lining!

Blessed. November 2013.