Mike and I recently made the difficult decision to give our golden retriever, Bailey, to the Middle Tennessee Golden Retriever Rescue. I can not begin to express to you how heart broken I have been over letting my first baby go to another home. Bailey was a Christmas present from my dad the year I graduated from PT school. He was the perfect companion for a single lady going through her "quarter life crisis!" Until I met my husband, it was just me and Bailey. He was there when I got up each morning, right by my side. He was there every evening when I came home to a quiet empty house, ready to curl up near me for the evening. He was a constant through tough break ups and painful trials with my family. He was a gift and he was loyal.
{ Christmas 2003}
My sweet Bailey was such a JOY and I have incredible memories from Memphis to Nashville that I will always cherish. It makes me smile to think back to my first date with Mike. Bailey was right by my side as I opened my front door and Mike's expression immediately turned to surprise as he looked down at my four legged friend. I remember he reached down to pet Bailey on the head and then immediately asked if he could wash his hands. I decided that this guy better love my dog if we were going to consider a second date!
It didn't take long for Bailey to win Mike over and so we began our journey together as a little family of three. A few years into our marriage, we decided to get Bailey a friend. We brought Miller home three years ago and instantly Bailey let us know he was not happy about the hyper puppy chewing his toys! I thought it was the perfect idea before starting a family, but little did I know Bailey liked being the center of attention...
When Abigail came along, things went down hill pretty quickly. Bailey's level of anxiety heightened. He began to feel more and more replaced and ultimately isolated and depressed. I hated seeing my sweet dog struggle so much with the changes in our home, but as the reality hit me that we were about to add another baby to our once quiet house, I decided we had to give Bailey a chance to enjoy his "golden years".
I now know that pregnant women should never have to give their dog away. I'm sure I would have been sad to walk Bailey out my door and hand him to another owner any day, but with my elevated hormonal state, it was a tragic day I will never forget. I began to journal and cry out to God about my broken heart. I felt so silly asking God to provide a good owner for Bailey and to give peace to my grieving heart. But today, He reminded me that I am his daughter and He hears all my prayers.
" See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. " 1 John 3:1
I read back over my journal entries this morning and God had answered all my prayers about Bailey. They weren't silly requests to Him because he loves me and desires that I tell Him about all things weighing on my heart.
As I was thanking God for providing such a wonderful home for Bailey, his new owner actually called me. She told me how happy Bailey was on her sixty acre farm. She laughed as she shared with me how he loves to watch the cattle, swim in her pond, roll around in the mud, and lay under the big oak tree near her house. Just in the short time he has been in his new home, he has been able to stop taking anxiety medication. He is happy and well loved, and my heart is at peace.
So if you are like me, and you sometimes think God shouldn't be bothered with the silly things that make you cry, remember that He loves you deeply and when your heart hurts, His heart hurts. Remember that He is the one who draws us close and comforts us. Pour your heart out to Him and know that you are His child.
{Bailey hanging out on the farm. September 2013}
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